day) I just crashed, one of a "sense" exhaustion - I Suddenly realised that the constant barrage of data to the brain really has left it tired, not to mention I just am also extremely tired after a LOOooong Week.Went out in the morning and browsed town plus took in the Genocide Museum and that may also have contributed to the need just to take the P
M and rest so had a really good afternoon nap.As I expected the museum is extreemly heart wrenching and an emotional experience, but one that has to be done. Fortunately my inquisitiveness had prepared me, as most of what I heard/saw is what I have already read or got info on. Let me tell you that the French should hide their faces in shame! and the history on display makes no bones about where they (Rwandans) point the finger!
An interview with The President, in a local newspaper extracted from a French publication, also leaves it very clear that relationships with the French are strained, cordial but strained.
Still enjoying every intake of each experience and am so happy to be here - I realise that one must not come here thinking you can be "Hope Rwanda". But that if you do little things and expect nothing by the giving, and why should you! Then in a small way I will have played a role.
Example - the young girl, Fredirinah, who works at the house is 18 (I gather), is one of three who were orphaned in her family she is very sweet and humble and kind. She probably lives on a paltry amount (Note to MJM, establish how mush she gets) and I get the impression she lives in a room in town, with the two younge
r siblings. She would welcome the smallest contribution (Be it soap, some bread to take home - its not asked for mind you, and I am never made to feel "obligated". I do however know that she pays R50 for her room each month, Can you imagine R50!The security lad, Claude, (29) more of an Askari than security, only gets home two days in two months! Imagine that in JHB! Its the norm so one must not interfere - I learnt that on the farm (Dullstroom). He also is always on duty and is NEVER sullen. I noticed he had a "Learn English in 10 days" booklet and I took it to the office to make copies for the rest, at the house (3 Staff in total). The best is that often I will hear a dull mumbling from below the window as he is eagerly reading and learning. This evening he came with a tray of coffee and in perfect English, said "Good afternoon!" - very sweet :-)
The parallels between SA and here are remarkable. Both are trying desperately to heal the wounds of one group dehumanising another (Here it was in both directions over the years). Both are succeeding on the face of it and only those close to the heart will know the truth of the real situation. I, as you know, believe with all my heart that we are succeeding at home, and must of course believe that of here as well.
My original impressions, as I wrote elsewhere, is that there is an indifference here to others (Visitors). I think that indifference is more of a desensitized lull. Almost a numbness, and I am sure many must still live in a state of some or other trauma. The museum has a section where it points out that no one currently in the country does not have a parent, child, relative or friend that either lost someone or was responsible for that loss! :-(
Perhaps that is what I am finding in the work place here. What I take for a haphazard way of doing things - lack of planning, almost a rabbit running for cover mentality. Is actually just the way of wanting to get as much done as fast as possible to get to another side of their fright!
Well that's it for now.
MJM
Kigali, Rwanda
20 Feb 2006
